Beatles Haiku

by Beth, Brett, Kristen, and Megan

John, Paul, Ringo, George:
These four lads bring me much joy.
Purest rainbows, man.
— Beth

Eleanor Rigby:
Face in a jar, picks up rice,
Dies alone in church.
— Beth

Riot in the streets
A number right after eight
Yoko says get nude
— Kristen

John loves that weird chick.
Everyone else thinks he's dumb.
They got married, though.
— Megan

Been a hard day's night
(Ringo's syntax is lovely)
Sex makes up for it
— Megan

Help me if you can
I am old and now things suck
I'm feelin' dow-own.
— Megan

I'm so freakin' mad!
I just lost the girl I had,
So I'll cry instead.
— Beth

Hey, you know my name:
Look up the number! You, you
You know my name. You…
— Beth

The chords may sound wrong
but we did that on purpose.
LSD is great.
— Megan

Girl took advantage
Got wasted, slept in the tub
Burned fucking house down
— Kristen

I am the eggman.
Paul may or may not be dead.
Look at our outfits!
— Megan

I want to tell you
My head's filled with things to say
Those words slip away.
— Beth

Got any advice?
Dead boyfriend equals black clothes.
I ain't gettin' none.
— Megan

I try to call you,
Try going by your house at night,
You're a lying bitch!
— Beth

Here I stand — head down.
Gotta hide my love away.
I sleep in a pit.
— Megan

My floor is dirty,
the world just keeps on spinning,
My guitar's crying.
— Beth

That crusty old guy
Mooches off his sis, snorts coke
Tells queen to fuck off
— Kristen

"Living with you sucks,"
she said, while waving something:
a ticket to ride.
— Beth

Stupid, stupid rain.
Gotta fix that hole up there.
My mind MUST wander!
— Megan

It's okay, baby,
we don't have to have sex, love.
See, we can just dance.
— Beth

She's got a ticket
A ticket to RIDE, even.
Don't look like she cares.
— Megan

I me mine, I me…
wait, what is this song about?
I don't really care.
— Beth

Paul sees his mom's ghost
Whenever he feels depressed
She says, don't sweat it.
— Kristen

When I get older,
We can do old-people things.
Like a garden. Dig?
— Beth

All together now!
We can count! I like colors!
Is that Yoko's voice?
— Megan

Let's screw in the road!
No one will be watching us!
Let's screw in the road!
— Beth

Taxman is evil.
I'm only one listening.
John and Paul don't care.
— Megan

Twist and shout! Work it on out!
…They were so young once.
— Beth

See that girl up there?
The landscape is edible!
Dude, swirly eyeballs.
— Kristen

Is this song about
My wife or my mom? Creepy.
Oedipal ballad.
— Beth

It's Bungalow Bill!
Bullet-headed Saxon git.
His mom creeps me out.
— Megan

Don't wake me up, man!
Fuck circadian rhythms.
Let me keep dreaming.
— Beth

I have a secret.
Let me whisper in your ear…
— Megan

Stuff ain't so bad now.
I used to beat up women
But I swear I've changed!
— Beth

Here's a great ending:
We'll combine Paul's song with mine.
No one saw my film!
— Brett

She's really the shit.
I'm in love for the first time.
So much for that one.
— Brett

They overdubbed me!
Paul's too busy with "Freedom"
Real pithy one, Paul.
— Brett

I've got a feeling
A feeling I can't hide, yeah.
Heh, he said, "Wet dream."
— Brett

My friends help me sing,
And they write the music too!
I love them a lot.
— Kristen

You think she needs you,
but her eyes so empty.
Her love is dead, man.
— Beth

All you need is love!
Can't do the impossible.
Smart man. Very sad.
— Megan

I'm sleepy. It's late.
I'm in a strange rented house.
Where are my buddies?
— Kristen

I'm tired, I'm obsessed,
I want to smoke and drink all night.
I need peace of mind.
— Beth

Beach Boys can keep their
Democratic chicks. I like
Pinko Commie girls.
— Kristen

I love you that much.
— Beth

Yes, no, hello, bye,
A meaningless argument
But a kick-ass song.
— Beth

His sister's Pam, right?
The cross-dressing go-getter?
Attractively built?
— Megan

We live in a sub
A yellow one. It's noisy.
Where is Jeremy?
— Megan

A revolution?
Really? Have you thought this through?
I am unconvinced.
— Beth

You know Doc Robert?
His special cup is mad wack.
He makes me feel fine.
— Beth

Guitar war kicks ass
But my heart breaks anyway.
They took lots of love.
— Kristen

Desmond meets Molly.
They fall in love, get married,
have kids. Life goes on.
— Beth

Paul clearly loves crack.
— Beth

Honey Pie, I would
come and get you, but you're all
the way over there.
— Megan

A taste of honey!
Tasting much sweeter than wine.
Wait, does he mean… oh!
— Beth

Joan was quizzical
Maxwell was psychotical
(Mal plays the hammers)
— Megan

I've got a new girl!
I swear, I'm not doing this
to make you jealous.
— Beth

So, I wrote this book,
It took me years to write, look!
I wanna write, man.
— Beth

No letter today.
Is my girl ignoring me?
Cards would cheer me up.
— Kristen

Hey, it's not your fault
your parents are breaking up.
Chin up, kid. Love, Paul.
— Beth

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